Ashanti: My Fair Lady

“That Ashanti concert was lit”, the security guard at the beer garden exclaimed to us while waiting in line to get a drink. And I couldn’t agree with him any more (except that I would’ve added ‘af’ at the end of his statement).

The Tulare County Fair was back this week and it was celebrating their 100th year of the fair. As John Hammond liked to say, they spared no expense! After last years debacle of Smash Mouth, the fair board of trustees put together a nice lineup for this years concert series.

I missed out on Marshall Tucker Band and Uncle Kracker Wednesday/Thursday Night. (BTW: Saw It: Chapter Two Thursday and all I’ll say is skip IT!) But I’m Always On Time when it comes to see the queen, Ashanti (actually I was running late and missed first couple songs).

When I got to the Budweiser Stage, there was a 9 yr old getting taking out of the m a s s i v e Ashanti crowd by 2 cops. Felt bad the kid wasn’t gonna see her hits performed. Now I’m not sure how old Ashanti is nowadays but she looked amazing. She had some nice outfit choices that showcased her assets. I was about to get called up on stage by her but I was in line getting beer (Pretty sure Id have been called up there).

The fun didn’t stop with Ashanti as 38 Special were Rockin’ into the Night all Saturday night. For a bunch of older fellas they rocked that Budweiser Stage harder than that pussy ass Shrek band, Smash Mouth did. Shockingly, the crowd was a little different than the Ashanti gathering. The only similarity was that everyone was having a great time. Like this one older guy who was on one and looked like Dale Earnhardt Sr banged Slash or Richard Petty.

Although it took awhile, 38 Special eventually played their bigger hits and I was ready to start moshing in the pit.

No threats of gang violence was going to prevent me from seeing the queen of 90’s pop rap songs that featured Ja Rule in them. Tonight (Sunday), 90’s country singer John Michael Montgomery will be performing and I’d be willing to bet it’s going to be great. I Swear. Other highlights of the Fair included: Getting annual corn dog, Seeing the Tiger, and Finding Cosmo randomly throughout the fair/beer gardens.

Fuck Smash Mouth.

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